"MARCO...!?"

Tuesday, June 30, 2009
10:21 pm So this is what it's come to...

Has anyone seen the latest commercial from Match.com? I looked for it online but had no luck finding it. Anyway, the spot shows a woman in a pool calling out "Marco!" When no one responds, the camera pans out, and you realize she's in the pool, playing Marco Polo... by herself.

I laughed so hard the first time I saw the commercial. That is, I laughed until I started crying because I AM THAT WOMAN.

I am swimming alone in the pool of life.

When one swims alone in the pool of life, one normally has friends on which to fall back. Mine don't live here. And the ones that do, have boyfriends (Stephanie) or dance classes and jobs (Andrea) or are hermits (Sarah) or don't answer your calls and send random obscure texts that are really just lines from plays (Greg).

My siblings are even worse! Do you know what it's like to live with a 17-year-old starlet who is the lead in a play and is always busy practicing lines and singing? I never see her! The only way I know she's alive is by the faint sound of singing that comes from her bedroom. Or how about the 20-year-old millionaire who has a boyfriend and a job and is always busy cooking and cleaning and clipping coupons? She only talks to me when she needs someone to help her shop at BJ's. Which I did. On Monday. And so far, it's been the highlight of my week.

Stephanie got a free trial membership, so we just spent an hour running around BJ's, shouting the names of products and jumping up and down over their size and price.

"There are 24 eggs in this carton! ...We can buy 365 tampons for twenty dollars!! ...I FOUND A 64 OUNCE CAN OF PEDIASURE WE HAVE TO GET THIS!!!"

Wow, I'm getting flushed just talking about it.

Somebody save me, or I'm going to become one of those women at BJ's, pushing around a grocery cart piled high with a year's worth of frozen chicken tenders JUST TO FEEL THE RUSH.

Seriously. I'm this close.

Love,
Tara