"It's Not You, It's Me."

Saturday, September 5, 2009
11:30 pm :'(

Interviewing and dating are two things I’ve been doing a lot of this summer. And now I have a theory that they are essentially the same thing. Allow me to explain…

Firstly, the joy you feel when you get asked to come in for an interview is the same as when a cute guy asks you out: You get the call from an unknown number. You answer, using your most mature, relaxed-but-not-too-relaxed voice. You arrange a time to meet, and hang up. Then you yell “YES!” and proceed to jump and twirl about the room because MAYBE THIS IS THE ONE!

To prepare for your date/interview, you plan out your outfit days in advance and practice what you’re going to talk about. You start to fantasize about what your life will be like together. You can already see how happy you’re going to be together.

Your interview is like the first date. You sit awkwardly, smiling stiffly and trying to remember all of the things you had written down to talk about. You try to read their body language. You try not to talk too much. You tell them what they want to hear.

Just like there are the guys you date because you have a parent or relative or friend who knows them, there are the interviews you go on because you have a parent or relative or friend who knows them. “Informational” interviews are the equivalent of the guys you’d really like to date, but who already have girlfriends. They’ll humor you for a while, but in the end, they just don’t have a place for you in their lives. There are jobs and guys who like you more than you like them. There are jobs and guys who you like more than they like you. Like most dates, most interviews end with someone promising to call someone sometime. And just like after most dates, after most interviews I immediately whip out my cell phone to tell my friends and family all about it.

And just like most dates, when you have a really good interview, you can’t help but get your hopes up. To explain the brokenheartedness I am dealing with right now over not getting a job I wanted, I will use the following metaphor. Let’s call the potential job in this case, Ollie.

Tara & Ollie: A Brief But Tragic Romance

I was really surprised when Ollie contacted me. I didn’t know Ollie. In fact, I had never even heard of him, but Ollie had gotten my number from a friend of his who I’d met but already had a girlfriend, and he asked me out. I was thrilled! Ollie sounded so great. He seemed like everything I could have wanted in a guy.

Ollie and I met in the city for our first date. I was really nervous going into it, but I shouldn’t have been. Ollie and I had an instant connection. He even told me I was everything he was looking for. We talked and laughed and at the end of our date, he said he had some work to take care of, but that he’d call me in a few weeks.

When I got home, I had an email from Ollie saying how great the date was. Naturally, I started dreaming of what my life would be like with Ollie. I even started to look for apartments so I could be closer to him. We were going to be so happy together.

Then my dreams came to a crashing halt on Friday when Ollie contacted me to tell me that he loved me, but he just couldn’t commit. There wasn’t anyone else, but he had come to the realization that there was too much going on in his life right now (he had some financial troubles), and he couldn’t commit to me, or anyone, until he sorted his problems out. He wanted me to know that it wasn’t me - I was great - it was just the timing.

Ollie broke my heart. I cried and cried. “I THOUGHT HE WAS THE ONE!” I wailed. “HE WAS SO PERFECT! I’LL NEVER FIND ANYONE LIKE HIM!” My friends and family tried to console me, but the visions I was having of being single in Gbury for the rest of my life were just too powerful. So, I ate a cannoli and cried myself to sleep.

The next day (today), I woke up feeling better, but then I remembered that Ollie didn’t want me, and I became depressed again. To get over my broken heart, I plan on staying busy and hitting the dating scene again ASAP. In the mean time, I’ll hope that Ollie has a cute friend he can pass my number along to.

But I can’t help but notice the likeness between the problem with my working life and the problem with my romantic life…

I JUST NEED SOMEONE WHO CAN COMMIT.

Love,
Tara